Tag Archives: Life

What do you do then?

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You know the scene well. You turn up at a party or a meet a friend of a friend and the small talk starts. Very early on (if not one of the first things that is said) you hear or ask that question. The question that most people hate to answer. But you answer it anyway.

“What do you for a living?”

whatdoyoudo2

My eyes roll, my toes curls and I let out a small sigh.

“I work in IT, it’s really boring. What do you do?”

I find that this short, uninteresting answer does one of three things.

1. Shifts the focus back on them so you don’t spend the next 15 minutes talking about your day job.
2. Give them the opportunity to spout on about their day job for the next 15 minutes.
3. Due to the short uninterested response means that the small talk is over and the conversation is dead.

Here’s the thing, it’s not that I don’t want to be polite and get to know people. Of course work takes up so much of our lives that it is inevitable that people will spend a lot of time talking about it. It’s the fact that people (generalisation) define themselves and others by what they do.

The thing is, if you have a boring desk based job people don’t ask you any questions about it. However, my friends that work in the Police or Doctors get quizzed about what they have seen recently constantly. No-one asks me if i’ve sent any interesting emails recently.

whatdoyoudo1

I am often tempted to answer that question with “I’m an astronaut”. Unfortunately I have neither the confidence, acting skills or personality to pull of a convincing routine in that department.

There are some schools of though that state that you should answer they question with what you want to be, maybe I’ll try that next time. I’m trying to come up with a better bit of small talk to slot in place of that question, maybe I’ll start with asking “Do you play any instruments?” as I would be far more interested in anything people have to say about being musical than them talking about the internal admin they had to deal with this week.

What if I miss something great?
The thing is that you are still going to find out what people do, it’s still going to come up and you can latch on to it if it is something really cool. We must not forget that some people love what they do and are able to wake up pursuing their passion everyday – though you’ll probably find that these people are in the minority. If they do pursue such a path, I’m sure it will become obvious early in the conversation anyway.

Do you have any thoughts on this stance or any alternative questions that could be asked? Please share your ideas in the comments below.

Images by Arturo de Albornoz & candrews on Flickr via Creative Commons

30 Things You Can Learn About Lifestyle Design from James Bond

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Bond is an icon. A man of confidence, character, poise and style. I realised that Bond can teach us a lot about Lifestyle Design, and has some key characteristics that have been crafted over decades to make him in to the ultimate double-o agent. Check out this list of things we can learn from this great character;

1. You don’t always need to follow the rules.
James Bond doesn’t always check in with agent M, sometimes he doesn’t follow the rules because he is confident that his way is the best to do what he needs to do. Just because popular culture defines the 9-5 as the ‘rule’ you have to live by does not mean that you have to conform to it. Break the rules if you need to.

2. Always get the girl (or prize).

Ever noticed how Bond always gets the girl? He is used to success, he thinks success and he lives success. You should too.

3. Confidence.
Part of the reason Bond is the main man is because of his confidence. Be confident in yourself and everything you do.

4. Defeats the villains (internal and external).
There is always a villain in Bonds way, but he works hard to defeat them at all costs. Fight your internal and external villains and don’t let them stop you from getting what you want.

5. Always have the right tools available to you (gadgets) when you need them.
Agent Q provides Bond with some awesome gadgets. Have you ever noticed that he uses all of them? He only carries the items he needs, and always utilizes the gadgets he carries. Don’t clutter yourself with things you don’t need but do make sure you are equipped. Find the balance, simplicity and harmony in your skills, possessions and relationships.

 

6. Set your sights high.
Ever seen Bond doing something easy? Double-0s don’t do easy work. Aim high and be prepared to work hard for what you believe in. You’ll get a greater sense of achievement this way.

7. Dress to impress.
Bond always dresses to impress. Even when he is alone in his swanky hotel room he looks his best. He is always ready for action and you should be too. You will also be taken more seriously when it matters if you are well-presented.

8. He does something scary every day (and accomplishes it).
If you don’t challenge yourself you don’t grow as an individual. Challenges are the most effective way to make positive changes in your lifestyle; when you aren’t challenging yourself, you are sinking further in to your comfortable rut.

9. He can adapt to his environment.
Bond is sent to all corners of the world and can adapt easily to his environment. If your circumstances change are you agile enough to adapt quickly? If you are not perhaps you have areas of your life that you need to simplify, declutter and organise.

10. He never gives up.
Bond never gives up pursuing the bad guy and you should never give up in the pursuit of your target.

11. He’ll pay for quality (when it’s needed).
OK, so MI6 picks up the tab, but Bond certainly knows that quality is worth paying for. Don’t scrimp on the things that are really important to you, but don’t waste money on things you don’t need.

12. He is always early.
If Bond needs to assassinate someone, he is there early to scope out his environment and lie in wait. Give yourself the edge. Be early.

13. Possessions are functional rather than material and do not define him.
If Bond needs a car, sure it’s a nice one, but he rents or borrows it. Possessions don’t define bond, his actions do.

14. He is not scared to use his real name.
Bond doesn’t like cover names. He is James Bond and doesn’t care who knows it. Sure it might get him in trouble, but if you believe in yourself and what you do then you shouldn’t hide.

15. He’s a big tipper (again when necessary).
Bond is generous. He knows the value of service he receives and is prepared to reward for it when appropriate. If you are getting value out of something, be sure to give a little back (note: this does not always mean money).


16. Bond is a man of action.
Have you ever seen bond wondering what to do? No. He is a man of action, you should be too.

17. Doesn’t care what people think.
Why would he and why should you?

18. Expect the unexpected.
Bond always knows when someone is sneaking up behind him. He knows the risks of a situation and is always prepared. Make sure you are prepared for the unexpected and reap the benefits.

19. Shaken not stirred.
Stirring a drink apparently encourages equal diffusion of the components throughout the volume (or something like that). You might be a slow stirrer of your life to make the changes, or maybe you should start to shake things up a little? Make some positive changes and challenge yourself outside of your comfort zone.

20. Knows how to use his weapon.
In both the literal and anatomical sense (it’s Bond, you’ve gotta have innuendo), Bond sure knows how to handle himself and equips himself with the right tools for the job and knows how to use them.

21. Bond keeps himself fit.
He is ready for action at all time. Bond doesn’t get sick, Bond is fit and can act instantly. Eat, sleep, exercise and rest well so you can be prepared for anything.

22. Knows when to ask for help.
Bond knows when he needs to rely on someone else’s local knowledge or expertise to progress with tasks more effectively. If you are operating outside of your skill set then don’t be too proud to ask for help.

 

23. When he has his target he goes for it.
He doesn’t procrastinate, he goes for it.

24. Bond is human.
Bond gets hurt both emotionally and physically, he may get knocked but it is only ever a temporary blip. He gets back on his feet and moves on to the next mission.

25. Sometimes you have to kill someone.
OK, so I’m not suggesting you have to kill anyone! But sometimes you have to make sure you that people don’t block you from reaching your target.

 

26. Knows what he likes and how he likes it.
He knows what he likes and how to get it. Be assertive in what you want and know how to get it.

27. But he’ll try new things…
Bond will always try new things. Change is good, embrace it.

28. Knows how to relax.
Bond certainly knows how to do this, and you should too. Sometimes you have to recharge your batteries to be effective.

29. Bond leaves everyone hungry for more.
So the Bond franchise has been going for longer than I’ve been on this earth (in my current form). That’s because people are always hungry for more. Do you leave your readers, clients, interactions wanting more?

30. Be lucky.
Let’s face it, Bond is lucky at lot of the time and that’s why he hasn’t died yet. It is easier said than done but you do make your own luck to a certain extent. Good luck!

Can you think of any James Bond inspired Lifestyle Design Tips? Let me know in the comments below!

All images found on Flickr via Creative Commons, in order of appearance:

Bond Poster – titlap
 Bond Girl Now – Rob Beyer
James Bond Island (Thailand) – Lutz536
Aston Martin – Kmeron
Casino Royal Premiere Amsterdam – Katerina Plevkova
James Bond Invasion – helter-skelter

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What will you do today?

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I’m on holiday this week visiting New York City (follow me in real time on twitter), so here’s a video that is in keeping with the topics here and filmed in New York. Hope it inspires you to take some action!

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Start every day with this question. What will you do today? How can you make a difference to your life and the lives of others?


Fifty People, One Question: New York from Crush & Lovely on Vimeo.

(If you are one of my wonderful subscribers and can’t see the video in RSS or Email, click here)

What will you do today? Let me know if the comments below!

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Bits & Bobs:

  • This week I secured my first social media consulting job. It’s a favour for a friend, but you have to start somewhere.
  • I have increased my subscribers by a third this week, so welcome new people! Get ready, Lifestyle Project steps up a gear after my break.
  • I’ll respond to comments when I’m back.

Image Credit: by Stuck in Customs on Flickr via Creative Commons

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Chris’s time for three: reading around the web:

  • http://writetodone.com/2008/11/20/ask-leo-live-qa-for-bloggers-and-writers/
  • http://www.willitchangeyou.com/personal-growth-where-to-start/
  • http://www.blog.neverthesamerivertwice.com/2008/11/21/in-defense-of-television/

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I hope you enjoyed my post. I’d love to hear your comments below or get a Digg or Stumble!

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How to Get What You Want Out of Life

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Image by Light Knight on Flickr via Creative Commons

Image by Light Knight on Flickr via Creative Commons

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.” Lawrence J. Peter

How clearly defined are your goals? In order to be as effective as possible in getting what you want out of life, you really need to make sure your goals are clearly defined. This is not as easy as it may sound. Often people have many little goals they want to achieve, but are not sure which objectives to concentrate on in order to achieve their ultimate goals. If you are not clear on the objectives you have for yourself you will not be able to define the required actions you need to turn your dreams in to reality.

How to clearly define your goals

1. Make a list of all the things you want to achieve.
Think long and hard about this. Start by brain-storming ideas then leave the list for a day or two before revisiting it to finish off. Initially, list everything big and small.

Here are some suggestions to get you started:

  • What do you want to do, be, or have?
  • What Lifestyle do you want to lead? How you see yourself in a few years time? (or how you want to see yourself?).

2. Think big.
At this point don’t think about what you could or couldn’t achieve, just think about what you want. If you could have, be or do anything what would that be?

3. Review the list.
Hopefully you now have a list of goals, projects and items you want to achieve. These will probably vary in size from big lifetime goals, to small things or projects that you want to do. Review the list and check that it captures everything important to you.

4. Eliminate.
Here is where it starts to get difficult, but there is a method to follow here. Think ten years ahead  in the future, these are the big goals. Tidying your loft or redoing the patio is probably not on the critical path to the place you want to be in ten years time. Sure they are important to you now in the short term, but you really want to be taking actions that will have the most effect towards achieving your future goals. You’ll probably find  some points you have written down are not that important. Other targets may seem important, but ask yourself “If I didn’t do this, would it mean I couldn’t reach where I want to be?”

5. Simplify
You can’t work effectively on ten goals at a time, probably not even half that amount. If your goals are important to you and you really want to achieve them, they should be something you care about more than anything. Again, this is not easy, but if you find your passion you will understand what is most important to you.Look at your edited goals list. What is the most important goal to you now? I would suggest you pick three large goals, maximum maybe five, and focus on these as your only priorities.

How your goals tie in with your Lifestyle Project
Your Lifestyle Project is the sum of the actions you take to achieve those goals. By definition, a project encompasses all the required activities to achieve defined objectives. The skill to managing your project is maximising the resources available to you to achieve the objectives. Therefore the key is to clearly define for yourself what your goals are. Be in a position where you are able to state what your goals are in life at the moment and to easily say 3-5 sentences stating your objectives.

Stop putting off the important
Some of the items on your list will probably be action points. This means they are probably things that you need to achieve or do in order to take the steps to reach your ultimate goals. DO NOT keep procrastinating activities on this list. Don’t hold up pursuing your dreams by ‘achieving’ mediocre or unimportant tasks or waiting for the right time before starting on the path towards your desired goals. There is never a right time. I very much doubt anyone finds a point in their lives where all conditions are perfect to start a new venture or pursue a new project.

Clarifying your goals for yourself is the first thing to do in your Lifestyle project. I suspect some people will find this very easy, whilst others will find this very difficult to do. However, the main thing to realise that once you understand yourself and what you want to achieve, you will be able to, or at least attempt to, control your own actions so that you are always working towards getting where you want to be.

Time to Take Action

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Image by amchu on Flickr via Creative Commons

Image by amchu on Flickr via Creative Commons

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. Benjamin Disraeli

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about taking action. I have to admit I’m the kind of person who spends hours and hours thinking about, researching, talking about and thinking about again lots and lots of ideas. What truly makes a difference however is taking action. There is only so much you can look in to any given thing, such as how to be the best blogger or how to get fit, before you become saturated with information and just have to take action. I have written before about how you should ‘Just Do It’ and that is really what makes the difference.
Too many people just sit around and do nothing. You’ll probably find these are exactly the kind of people who complain about their job, their circumstances, their weight or whatever it is that they are complaining about. Stop complaining and start doing. My mum always used to say to me “If you put as much energy in to doing something as you did in to complaining about it you would have done it by now!”.

I like to try and turn short / medium term goals in to habits. So I currently have the short term goal of making taking action my number one habit.

Stop thinking. Start doing.

Take a lot at your goals, aspirations and Lifestyle Projects. Do you have the actions in place to achieve them? Yes? Well watch are you waiting for, take action now!

There is never a “right time”
There is a lot going on in the world (mainly in the media) which would suggest that now is not the right time to do a lot of things. You know what? There is never a “right time”. There is never a time when all the conditions are perfect, everything you need is available and all the planets are aligned in some sort of amazing cosmic symmetry which will enable you to move through life seamlessly. Whilst some may argue that there is the wrong time to do things, the fact is that the right time to do what you want, achieve what you want and go for what you want is NOW!

What have you been putting off? Let me know in the comments below the actions you will take now.

Investing in Your Future

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Thanks for taking the time to visit! Chris

I’m on Holiday at the moment so I have for you an article by Lifestyle Project contributor Tom Church. Please bear with me for comment approval whilst I’m away. Enjoy!

Image by Oude School on Flickr via Creative Commons

Image by Oude School on Flickr via Creative Commons

“Learn the past, watch the present, and create the future.”

Looking out my bedroom window this morning, through the crisp sunlight, I noticed that the first of my garden trees had begun to shed its’ leaves. ‘Already?’ I thought. Recalling in my half-asleep brain the month, I gasped silently. 2008 was nearly over. It seems only yesterday that I was laughing uncontrollably at the dinner table with my family at Christmas. Surely it hadn’t already been 4 months since I finished school for good?

I began rattling my brains for a solution. There had to be some sort of time delusion going on, what had I done with all this time? Bit by bit, I began piecing together my year: the parties, the exams, the girl friend, the holidays, the jobs, the random events, the ups and the downs. And where did all this leave me standing? In the same room I woke up to in January.

After this mind boggling brain storm, I went downstairs to recover with a hearty breakfast. Whilst eating, I thought about how this year measured up in comparison with previous years. Surprisingly, I could not accurately conclude whether this year was better or worse than the years before, simply because they all seemed exactly the same.

This provoked some panic within me, especially as I began working out the percentage of my expected life I had already lived. It had gone too quickly for my liking, and I was shocked. I looked around me at the interior of my parent’s house where I live. All of this stuff was theirs. How on earth did they manage to acquire so much (rubbish) in the small difference between our ages?

Until today, I had always assumed that these sort of things just happen. You study, you get a job, you earn, you get married, you buy a house, you have kids, you die. Yet, as I have just discovered, this isn’t quite the case. With the economic crisis, I have found it incredibly difficult to find a job recently (well, it took me 2 weeks), and now I have one, I don’t really want it. By gaining a job, I am simply ticking off the next thing in my life check list. Next, get married. With every tick, I am becoming closer to death.

What would happen if I did the opposite? Un-learn, leave my job, spend money, become single, travel around, use protection, live. It sounds extremely appealing. At least it did to me at first.

Whilst in the gym today, I picked up a magazine for the first time entitled Psychology. I’d never read in the gym before, but this took my fancy after having read a blog post, Simple Ways To Increase Your Attractiveness which explains that learning the basics of Psychology will increase your attractiveness.

Within this magazine, there was an article about being honest with yourself and living in the present. There was a golden line (not literally) which initiated a huge thought explosion inside my head, it read, “Imagine that you’re fifty. What have you achieved with your life? Compare this to your present.”

And that’s exactly what I did. It was then that I realised material possessions were not the greatest component of my future happiness (although my vision did include myself looking out through the window of a penthouse apartment). I had a wife, a kid, a fire, a comfortable home, a view of the city and a sunset.

Comparing this to my present life, I sighed, concluding that I had none of these things. It seems that my ‘opposite-life-list’ of being single and spending money won’t lead me to my desired dream of when I am 50 years of age.

My vision showed that I wanted comfort when I was older, secure surroundings for myself and my family. It included a nice place with a view over the city, accurately representing my love of city life and the buzz of people. This means that I have to begin to invest in my life. I hate to think of living and dying alone, it scares me. Online dating sites show that the life check of ‘get married’, just doesn’t happen automatically. You have to work hard to find someone you can share love with.

Now that I have realised this (and hopefully you have too), I can start taking an active role in investing for my future life. This doesn’t mean putting huge amounts of cash into a high-interest bank account, although I would love to if I could. I am starting simple by developing an ‘investment attribute’ within my characteristics. Investing into projects that have long term benefits, for example, exercising every day or eating healthily, will develop a greater level of wisdom and foresight.

These returns should aid me in turning my dream into reality. For now, despite no sleep in the last 38 hours, I am going out to show my appreciation to my friends one last time before they go to University. Who knows, maybe one day, one of them will return this appreciation and save my life.

This article was written by Lifestyle Project contributor Tom Church of The Life of Change blog. Click here to subscribe to his blog. You can also find Tom on Twitter.

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Also be sure to check out my other blog Lists for Life.

A Guide to Using SWOT Analysis to Achieve your Goals

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This your kind of thing? Please think about subscribing via RSS or eMail (it’s free). Thanks for taking the time to visit! Chris

Image by Josef Stuefer on Flickr via Creative Commons

Image by Josef Stuefer on Flickr via Creative Commons

“Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others.”

You may or may not have heard of S.W.O.T. analysis. If you haven’t heard of it then I hope this post will explain what it is, how to do it and when you should use it. For those of you who do know what it is, I hope it provides a useful refresher and encourages you to use it and add it to your arsenal of techniques for personal effectiveness. For those of you who do use it regularly, well done, make yourself a cup of tea and go and watch family guy.

S.W.O.T. analysis is a technique which gets you to look at the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats of any given situation. I think that you can use it in any scenario, but especially in ones that leave you wondering which way to go on a decision, deciding whether to spend more time (your most precious resource) on something or in goal setting. SWOT is simple and easy to remember.

You can apply SWOT analysis to any number of situations. Sometimes it will be a quick exercise to aid decisions, other times it can be a more in depth look in to a major life decision.

How to use the SWOT Analysis Technique

I think that in order to be effective you should know your own S.W.O.T.  You already know this subconsciously, but spending time focusing on thinking about it and committing it to paper gives deeper thoughts and understanding to your life (and you’re Lifestyle Project).

Starting by taking a piece of A4 paper (I find paper is best for this type of thing as it is free flowing and non-liner. You can always type it up later or put it in to some fancy mind mapping software if you want to.) Spilt the paper in to quadrants and title each one with Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats respectively. Now enter under each heading those items that come to mind in that area for your life. List your strengths; maybe you have good interpersonal skills and are great at presenting for example. Weaknesses; maybe you lack authority or are unskilled in a certain area. What personal opportunities does your life present you with? perhaps you have a friend going on a trek on the Inca Trail and they want you to come with them? That’s a great opportunity that you have which others may not. What about Threats? Maybe you have an overstretched mortgage or a massive credit card debt.

Using your SWOT

Here’s where the SWOT analysis technique comes into its own. It is what you do with your SWOT that is the differentiator between the normal person and the motivated, effective person who wants to improve. Most people will be able to do a SWOT analysis in most situations at a high level. Make yours deeper. Make it is as open, honest and deep as possible you are doing it for yourself and your own development. As will is done subjectively by you it is important to be as honest with yourself as possible to get the most benefit out of the situation. It is often beneficial to discuss your situation with other people that can offer you constructive views.

Acting on your SWOT

So now you’ve done your SWOT, you need to look at each area in turn. This is where you think about the results of the SWOT and what actions you need to give yourself for personal development.

Here’s a checklist to help with this bit:

Strengths

  • Are they positive?
  • Are you using these to their full potential?
  • As they are strengths, can and are they being used to overcome your weaknesses?
  • How can you use this strength to its full potential

Weaknesses

  • Why is this weakness for you?
  • What are/could/should you be doing to overcome this?
  • What can you do to minimise the impact of this weakness?

Opportunities

  • Are you making the most of these?
  • If not making the most of these, why not?
  • How can you maximise the benefit of these?

Threats

  • What can you do to minimise the impact of these?
  • Can you eliminate them?
  • What strengths or opportunities can you use to overcome these?
  • Is a weakness creating these?

It is how you act on your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that will help you to achieve your goals.

I would recommend you do a personal SWOT and spend the time to review, and improve on it. Write down key actions you can do to improve your personal SWOT and stick a date in the diary to review it and your progress against the actions you set out for yourself. Review the actions in 1, 3 and 6 months time.

Other (external links):

Think about your Life Goals | Zen Habits

Benjamin Franklin’s Goals

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Avoid the Hot Air and Get Stuff Done

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This your kind of thing? Please think about subscribing via RSS or eMail (it’s free). Thanks for taking the time to visit! Chris

Image by TKelly on Flickr via Creative Commons

Image by TKelly on Flickr via Creative Commons

“I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I’m just like “shut up, shut up, shut up…blah blah blah blah blaaaaah.” Ellen Degeneres

On a recent trip to my head office, I really began to notice the amount of Hot Air that spouts from the mouths of the people I work with. They are people with all talk and no action. Since I joined the company over two years ago, a lot has been talked about to do with strategy, change and improvement. However, I have not seen any change. It is all Hot Air, and this is now ingrained in the company to the point where I think that all employees spend more time talking about doing things than actually getting things done. I’m glad that I have bought this observation to my conscious mind so that I can work on it personally so that I don’t sucked in to the same culture.

Here’s my 5 point Plan to cut the crap and get stuff done with other people:

  1. Only talk to people at work when you need something from them. This is like my previous post about only going on to the computer when I need to do something. We all spend hours at work talking about how the company should be run, gossiping etc. I’d much rather get my work done and get out of there. An hour spent talking to my girlfriend is a much better use of my time than an hour spent talking about the same old stuff with a colleague.
  2. Say No, mean no and don’t do it. It is one thing to say no to things, and another to mean it and stick to your work. This is a skill I am still developing but if you master it in the right way you can eliminate the crap and get on with what is going to make a difference.
  3. Cut the Crap. When talking to people or trying to get your work done, cut the crap. Eliminate what you don’t need, get to the point, get it done and move on.
  4. A lot of hot air comes from a group of people ‘Brainstorming’ ideas. Often I find that they go round in circles and the logical conclusion is inevitable 90% of the time. Cut the crap here too, get straight to the point “We WILL do this”, “I’ll get this actioned NOW”. I’ve found that when you are in a position to make decisions, then make them and do it. People will step in quicker if the action you have taken is wrong, whereas if you don’t take the action it could be hours or dozens of CC’d emails later before the a decision is made.
  5. Avoid meetings like the plague. Most meetings are, lets face it, a waste of time. Always ask why a meeting is being held. Ask for an agenda and timescale up front and try and schedule meetings back to back to get them all out of the way at once and avoid overruns “Sorry I can’t stay I have another meeting on the hour.”

Some people may worry that they could give the wrong impression to their peers and superiors with this approach. Remember the goal is to the get stuff done. You will (and should) be measured by your results. You are aiming for a work:life balance and being productive at work is not about doing more, it is about doing what is needed (and only what is needed) better and faster.

If your company doesn’t operate a Results-Only Work Environment, then don’t worry. Just make it your own personal ‘culture’ to work like that and see the results. You should work better and live better.

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